Happy hour!

Some jokes I just couldn't resist posting:

Same differents:

It was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked
her what her name was and she replied, "Happy Butt." The teacher said,
"Honey I don't think that's your name you need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
So she went to the principal's office and he asked,
"What's your name?"
And the little girl said,
"Happy Butt."
The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out
once and for all. After getting off the phone he looked at the little
girl and said, "Honey, your name's is Gladys, not Happy Butt."
The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass, Happy Butt" what's the difference?


Deep Political Shit:

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

Big plans:

George W. Bush and Tony Blair are at a White House dinner. One of the important guests walks over to them and asks what they are talking about.
"We are making up the plans for WW III" says Bush. "Wow" says the guest. "And what are the plans?" "We are gonna kill 14 million Muslims and one dentist", answers Bush. The guest looks to be a bit confused. "One...dentist?", he says. Why? Why will you kill one dentist?"
Blair pats Bush on the shoulder and says, "What did I tell you? Nobody is gonna ask about the Muslims."

Dumb blonde:

A blonde went into a message center overseas to send a message back to her mother in the States. The clerk told her the price, but she claimed she had no money. But I'd do anything to get a message to my dear sweet mother." The clerk arched his eyebrow and grinned. "Anything?" he asked. "Yes, anything!" the blonde promised. So they went together to the back room and he closed the door. He instructed her, "Get down on your knees." She did. "Lower my zipper." She did. "Now take it out." She reached in, grabbed it with both hands, and then paused. He whispered through closed eyes, "Well? Go ahead." The blonde slowly brought it to her lips and said, "Hello, Mom? Can you hear me?"


Succeed:

There was a man (John) whose greatest dream was to climb Mount Everest.
One day he was given the opportunity to do that so he decided to set off without any hesitation.
After a week of climbing he reached a beautiful clearing where he saw a beautiful woman.
He looked at her and suddenly heard the voice of god:
- ok.. John, choose - do you want to fuck her or succeed?
- I wanna succeed! I wanna succeed! - he replied and continued climbing.
After another week he saw another beautiful woman but this time she was completely naked!
And again he heard the voice of god:
- John, choose - do you want to fuck her or maybe you want to succeed?
- I wanna succeed!! - said John.
So he went on climbing... Finally, after next week he reached the summit...
He looked around and saw nothing interesting at all... except for one guy, very big and filthy black guy who was standing there...
The guy approached him:
- Hi, I'm Sid