Tuesday, March 22, 2005

PSP is out!!!

The playstaion portable is due to be out any moment now in the U.S. and it's already out in Japan! Can't wait for them to hit Europe, I soooooooo want one of these!!!

A site with impact...

Warning, this site is [P] rated - P stands for psycho, but if you're into this kind of thing you can play with it for half an hour. I know for fact that if you start, there's no stopping till the end.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Educate yourself on fats!

Gee, I never knew there's a site on farts before! Please, visit and find out the answers to some astonishing, mind blowing questions like:
Is it really possible to ignite farts?

Is is possible that, by inhaling other people's farts all day long, my own farts will smell more?

Is it possible to get stoned after inhaling two or three farts in a row?

Is it possible for a fart to kill you?*

If you fart in the bathtub, is the water polluted and should you refill the tub?

Is it possible to capture a fart in a jar and save it for later use?*

What color is a fart?
I don't know what those people eat, but for a person to ask THAT kind of questions, he must have some REALLY mean farts!!!

P.S. About the questions marked with an * ... I just want to say. You sick, sick fuck!!! If you're gonna kill people, don't go around doing it with farts in a jar; use a more humain method! Like stabbing them with paperclips to death!!!

P.P.S. I forgot to tell you. The main site http://smellypoop.com, doesn't sell poop anymore. Their order page says someone enlightened them it's not legal to do so. Gee, wiz, gosh, golly, you'd think that's fucking obvious!

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Robot rage at eBay

Some idiots never cease to amaze me. Like it wasn't bad enough some dude uses tits and ass to sell his crappy hardware, now some smart-ass motherfucker is trying to sell his kid's doodles by blackmailing us he'll otherwise take the kid's crayons...

How's that for a model parent? No, I don't care how cute it is, I still hate it! Get a job you hobo.

OMG, Pixar is teh roxor!!!!!!1111oneoneone

The Pixar people are so cool, just look at the animators' workplaces, wouldn't you want to live there? Wouldn't you? If I were a midget animator at Pixar, I'd be the happiest midget ever!

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Munching on soap bars for science...

I like this guy. I like him alot. He eats soap for crying out loud! Not only that, he also eats hair-removal porducts and bathroom cleaners!!!

I really have no comment on this one, the shere stupidity of it will be spoiled by me trying to sound snidey...

Happy hour!

Some jokes I just couldn't resist posting:

Same differents:

It was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked
her what her name was and she replied, "Happy Butt." The teacher said,
"Honey I don't think that's your name you need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
So she went to the principal's office and he asked,
"What's your name?"
And the little girl said,
"Happy Butt."
The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out
once and for all. After getting off the phone he looked at the little
girl and said, "Honey, your name's is Gladys, not Happy Butt."
The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass, Happy Butt" what's the difference?

Deep Political Shit:

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

Big plans:

George W. Bush and Tony Blair are at a White House dinner. One of the important guests walks over to them and asks what they are talking about.
"We are making up the plans for WW III" says Bush. "Wow" says the guest. "And what are the plans?" "We are gonna kill 14 million Muslims and one dentist", answers Bush. The guest looks to be a bit confused. "One...dentist?", he says. Why? Why will you kill one dentist?"
Blair pats Bush on the shoulder and says, "What did I tell you? Nobody is gonna ask about the Muslims."

Dumb blonde:

A blonde went into a message center overseas to send a message back to her mother in the States. The clerk told her the price, but she claimed she had no money. But I'd do anything to get a message to my dear sweet mother." The clerk arched his eyebrow and grinned. "Anything?" he asked. "Yes, anything!" the blonde promised. So they went together to the back room and he closed the door. He instructed her, "Get down on your knees." She did. "Lower my zipper." She did. "Now take it out." She reached in, grabbed it with both hands, and then paused. He whispered through closed eyes, "Well? Go ahead." The blonde slowly brought it to her lips and said, "Hello, Mom? Can you hear me?"


There was a man (John) whose greatest dream was to climb Mount Everest.
One day he was given the opportunity to do that so he decided to set off without any hesitation.
After a week of climbing he reached a beautiful clearing where he saw a beautiful woman.
He looked at her and suddenly heard the voice of god:
- ok.. John, choose - do you want to fuck her or succeed?
- I wanna succeed! I wanna succeed! - he replied and continued climbing.
After another week he saw another beautiful woman but this time she was completely naked!
And again he heard the voice of god:
- John, choose - do you want to fuck her or maybe you want to succeed?
- I wanna succeed!! - said John.
So he went on climbing... Finally, after next week he reached the summit...
He looked around and saw nothing interesting at all... except for one guy, very big and filthy black guy who was standing there...
The guy approached him:
- Hi, I'm Sid

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Do you know... Zie Germans?

Funniest thing that I've ever read... today. Period!
The European Union Commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

1. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion but typewriters kan have one less letter.
2. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
3. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful and they would go.
4. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
5. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plac....

How to make a profit

I like this guy's strategy. He got himself a big-titted, round-assed girl and a couple of poorie, second hand computer parts, that he even says, doesn't know for a fact they are functional, but wants to sell anyway.

You may not see the connection, but sex my friend sells everything and this chick isn't showing off her bombshells and halfmoons for nothing.

This guy is gonna go far if he's into marketing (or porn), but come to think about it I don't like him. I only like the girl in the photos, she looks nice and wholesome; someone I can introduce to my mom.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Racism at its funniest

Here's a quote I dug up from bash.org. It's funny as hell, I'll read it a couple of more times when I post it:
[RvLeshrac] [Terrorists] Shit, maybe we shouldn't take hostages from countries whose people are more insane than us.
[RvLeshrac] [China] You give back hostages, or we kill all muslim.
[NegaDuk] i think if they piss off china too much, they'll find that china, the US, and britain will turn the middle east into a big walmart parking lot
[RvLeshrac] [China] We use nuke. What we care you nuke us? We have billion more people.
[NegaDuk] [China] nuke beijing. we tried sars. it no work
[RvLeshrac] [China] We stop birth restriction, we make billion more. Three day.
[NegaDuk] i think china's just being antisocial so someone will thin their population
[RvLeshrac] Seriously.
[RvLeshrac] China's answer to anything should be "We stop birth restrictions"
[RvLeshrac] [US] Stop flooding our markets with cheap goods, or we stop selling you soybeans. [China] We stop birth restriction! [US] Fuck. OK, OK! You can have the damned soybeans!
[RvLeshrac] I bet that was the real reason Clinton gave them our satellite codes.
[RvLeshrac] [China] You give us code, or we flood world with chinese!
[RvLeshrac] [China] All your shirt shrink up like penis in arctic.
[NightStar] damn those bad chinese laundry places
[RvLeshrac] [China] You never get decent haircut. You explain to women why no manicure.
[RvLeshrac] [China] We own you like Hong Kong.
You can vote for it at its source.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Microsoft helpdesk conversations

The Microsoft people have nerves of steel. And I'm not talking about impudent manner they release their bug ridden software with. No, no, no. I'm talking about something faaaaaaaaaaaaar worse!

Customers in need of helpdesk support. Here are some actual conversations between the primates and the good people from Microsoft Corp.

1 ph34R t3h g00gL3 p30pL3

You know about the "all your base are belong to us" syndrome right? Even if you didn't, now you do. It's this wacky "sort of English" used by IRC and Gamer nerds when they encounter newbies/pwn someone...

Sooooooo... I always thought Google people were great and all that, but never, ever even imagined they're IRC freaks. Anyway, here's the funniest thing I've ever seen (today).

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Kid jerks off in co-students' brownies

I recently read the story about the ejaculated frosting a kid used to make a batch of brownies with which he then gave to his fellow students. His excuse was they put peanut-butter in his cheese sandwich and that made him angry.

I dunno about you, but I bet his mom is one of those sweet little house-wives, that ask questions like "Did the new cat bother you too hun?" when their little twisted fuck of an offsrping twists the cat's neck and rips out it's intestines.

That kid better get a new dad to beat his ass a little, cause I already see sexual perversions and violence in a single psychotic little package and that ain't good I tell ya!

Friday, March 11, 2005

Bowling ball scares the shit out of burglars

The Telegraph reports a sci-fi ball that's gonna be used to scan for and take pictures of burglars while they shit them selves speechless when looking at it.

It uses all kinds of nifty little devices like cameras, infrared detectors, pendulums, radars, cold fusion reactors, telechenetic movement, mind control emmiters and black hole generators... Alright. Maybe I've exagerrated a little, but it does use cameras and pendulums and stuff.

It's also fast, round and very, very shiny! Which, if you've watched enough sci-fi horror flicks, is extremely scary!

The only problem with it is that it just can't handle stairs, which makes it kinda useless if you live in some normal building, but if your home doesn't offer obstacles as stairs, like a park bench or a street alley for example, you've got nothing to worry about.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Linking spree... again.

Check out this wacky comic strip. It calls newspapers dinasour blogs, it's fucking hilarious.

You should find homosexual necrophiliac ducks an interesiting read as well. It links to yet another kick-ass story. The crack-smoking professor who wants to teach monkeys his bad habbits.

Good thing I don't pay taxes, God knows what those idiots would use my money for. Something about madness in mosquitoes living near refineries comes to mind though.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Talk more with less frustration...

Remember the good ol' 70s and 80s, where all those cell-phone thingies didn't exist? Me neither. But if you do remember those times and happen to like them, then you'll probably love this stationary phone-handle... It plugs in your cell phone and works instead of the regular hands-free. Now ain't that cool. Yeah, I hate it too.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Linking spree...

I'm too damn lazy to post 3 new articles and I'm sure as hell too tired to come up with some decent comments on them, so here they are:

An artificial fly-eating plant that belches when it manages to eat something (kinda like my roomate).

A garden dedicated to hippies (and other wildlife forced to live in the urban areas).

A kinky, oldschool ASSvibrator.

The source is no other than boingboing. Alright now, bye bye then.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I wannit, I wannit, I wannit, I wannit!!!

You! Yeah, you! The one reading my blog. Give me $555,000 to buy the base model of the 2005 Saleen S7 Twin Turbo or I'll blow that cute fucking kittie's brains out!

Am I ser... Am I serious?!?! Of course I'm fucking serious, just look at it. Just look at it!!!

From the:

And I still don't believe this car is for real, maybe it's a 3d render or something. It's too fucking beautiful to be real.

P.S. Excuse the excessive use of the word fuck, it's there to emphasize my excitement about this car. Thank you.